He is for me.

I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.

-Kari Jobe

At work I've been playing around with all the CDs and listening to random stuff but there is a CD I keep ending up hear played OVER and OVER. And I can't seem to get annoyed or sick of it. On Kari Jobe's CD she has a song called You are For Me.

I am so grateful that my Savior will not forsake me in my weakness. The weakness of feeling beat up and discouraged. He is beautiful.

Philippians 3:14

Love.

My heart continues to be captivated by my Creator.


Thank you Father for the lessons you've been teaching me. You are so good.

Broken.

We are so busy fighting over which music is right, which is wrong. Sometimes we think that we are different and we have "figured out" what works. We are the better followers because we know how to do things right. We claim we know what will keep people tuned in, what won't. So busy fighting over who is more spiritual and who knows more theology. Hating our brothers and sisters because they don't do enough for us and spoon feed us when we demand it. Too busy being angry at the preacher because he doesn't do enough for our friends. SO caught up in being a certain denomination and forget it about the relationship that changed our lives.

People on the outside see this. And do cartwheels down the wrong way as we watch in our complacency because inviting them to the building was supposed to "fix" them.

In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love. 1 Cor. 13

It's as if we've forgotten the True Love that first loved us, and we react by throwing compassion and grace towards others out the window.

John 8.

Lovin' Life

Friday (or should I say Saturday morning) night at 2 A.M. Damaris and I were waiting for my car to heat up at Auschwitz(commonly known as her apartment building). We were talking about how much we miss Nashville, our friends there, and just wanted to get away but there was no way with our school/work schedules.

But my friends, where there is a will, there is a way, yes?

Saturday night I got off work at 8:30 and we were on the road at 10 in a massive Yukon with 6 other crazy friends, bringing the total to 8.

We rolled into Franklin around 10:00 AM Sunday and left around 8:30. Now, I'm back in Texas, getting ready for class.

That's right. Basically a 30 hour trip to Nashville. Love it.

Thank you, Starbucks guys.

The Afters are special in my heart. I credit them for holding the Dallas Diehards together during a tumultous year. I sang their music with friends in Japan. They served me frappucinos when I was a kid (I think). Matt told me all about how he hated DBU when I was 2 weeks into my first semester. A few months later I was explaining my concerns of going back to DBU when Havens spoke some truth and reality to me that helped me make my decision. All in all, I am grateful for them and how Father has used their music. And hope to Japan it with them one day.

Before I ever even met them, their music was very relevant in my life. Over the past few days I have been forced to deal with emotions that were once a huge fear of mine. Now, they're a reality. Guilt and disgust of my wicked human self. But I seek comfort in the fact that God's love is wider than an ocean. That his grace surpasses all understanding. That he wipes the slate clean, even when I feel like filth is dripping off my hands. What a beautiful King He is. My wonderful Jesus who continues to blow me away with His mercy.



"Ocean Wide" by The Afters

Look outside
It's already light and the stars ran away with the night
Things we're said, words that we'll try forget,
it's so hard to admit I know we've made mistakes
I see through all the tears but that's what got us here

[Chorus:]
If love is an ocean wide
We'll swim in the tears we cry
They'll see us through to the other side
We're gonna make it
When love is a raging sea
You can hold on to me
We'll find a way tonight
Love is an ocean wide

I'll stay right here
It's where I'll always belong
Tied with your arms
Days like this, I wish the sun wouldn't set
I don't want to forget
What made us feel this way
You see through all my fears
And that's what got us here

[Chorus]

Love is an ocean wide enough to forget
Even when we think we can't

Raining

I remember walking to our apartment one night in Tokyo after getting delicious beverages from Lawson's with 2 wonderful friends, sisters, confidants, amazing people. I felt a little jealously as these two girls were expressing their excitement for the upcoming semester and how they'd be at the same college and just blurted out something like, "I wish I knew where I was going." As the summer was coming to an end, I almost went into panic mode because I knew that I would not be back at DBU and that I would be standing alone as I returned to Mesquite, yet everyone else had the excitement of returning to colleges, jobs, even high schools. And I had nothing.

However, in the warm night a precious friend who I had the privilege to get to know better before the summer just stopped me and blatantly told me, "Don't worry! You have no limits! Nothing is going to stop you! Just do what you know you're supposed to do and follow those dreams!"

Over the past semester I've taken those words to heart. Every step I've taken in my new college, my new job, etc, I realize that yes, God did set me apart to be different than how IIIII wanted my life to pan out so easily. It's been a stinkin' challenge these past few months and I've learned some CRAZY difficult lessons.

However, I'm still blessed beyond measure. I see that. And I've caught myself slipping into complacency at times. But I can't have that. Because I have been given these dreams by ONE. The ONE I choose to live for. As lame as this is going to sound to some people, i am NEVER going back to ok. And this semester has proven that. My heart's cry is to continue to FOLLOW, not because a person tells me to, but because my identity is in HIM.

WOW. k.Mass, you said it right. I have no limits on the possibilities and nothing's holding me back. But what's greater is that HE has no limits.

Watch out Mesquite. Texas. World.

Wow.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121


He is on His throne, even among the hurt, the pain, the sorrow, the tears, and the guilt to those left behind. Praise God because He is in control of everything. My beautiful Savior reigns.