Raining

I remember walking to our apartment one night in Tokyo after getting delicious beverages from Lawson's with 2 wonderful friends, sisters, confidants, amazing people. I felt a little jealously as these two girls were expressing their excitement for the upcoming semester and how they'd be at the same college and just blurted out something like, "I wish I knew where I was going." As the summer was coming to an end, I almost went into panic mode because I knew that I would not be back at DBU and that I would be standing alone as I returned to Mesquite, yet everyone else had the excitement of returning to colleges, jobs, even high schools. And I had nothing.

However, in the warm night a precious friend who I had the privilege to get to know better before the summer just stopped me and blatantly told me, "Don't worry! You have no limits! Nothing is going to stop you! Just do what you know you're supposed to do and follow those dreams!"

Over the past semester I've taken those words to heart. Every step I've taken in my new college, my new job, etc, I realize that yes, God did set me apart to be different than how IIIII wanted my life to pan out so easily. It's been a stinkin' challenge these past few months and I've learned some CRAZY difficult lessons.

However, I'm still blessed beyond measure. I see that. And I've caught myself slipping into complacency at times. But I can't have that. Because I have been given these dreams by ONE. The ONE I choose to live for. As lame as this is going to sound to some people, i am NEVER going back to ok. And this semester has proven that. My heart's cry is to continue to FOLLOW, not because a person tells me to, but because my identity is in HIM.

WOW. k.Mass, you said it right. I have no limits on the possibilities and nothing's holding me back. But what's greater is that HE has no limits.

Watch out Mesquite. Texas. World.

Wow.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121


He is on His throne, even among the hurt, the pain, the sorrow, the tears, and the guilt to those left behind. Praise God because He is in control of everything. My beautiful Savior reigns.

Rambling

I learn to accept things, even try to embrace them. And it comes back to bite me. People are ridiculous. And tick me off. Ill spare the details. But sometimes the life of a PK sucks. A lot.

Ruth Graham is my new hero.

Trying to "live up to people's expectations, and you become inauthentic and you pretend you have it all together, but inside you're dying"

Read my last post and this kinda goes with it.

She rocks.


And now I'm going to go listen to my song of the week: Favorite Disease by Thousand Foot Krutch. Isn't it funny how they're music relates to me? See earlier post this year about why I'm a diehard.

Wanting, watching, debating, on which way to run to, haunted, voices, craving, someone to run
to, i haven't lost myself in a long time, i never tried to care when i wanted to, i just want
to be part of something, i just want to be real like you

[Chorus]
Sometimes, i feel like a monster, and times, ifeel like a saint, i'm on my knees, you're my
favorite disease

Silent, warnings, tell me, that i've let things come, undone, show me, teach me, the way to
heaven, cause no other way can, i havent lost myself in a long time, i never tried to care when
i wanted to, i just wanted to to be part of something, i just wanted to be real like you

[Chorus]

Closer, closer, closer to you, i need to be closer, i have closure, and get closer to you,
every step i take...

[Chorus]

And i love the way you kill me, love the way you heal me, i love the way you kill me, love the
way you heal me, i love the way you kill me, love the way you heal me