Monday, November 10, 2008

Ohhhh selfishness

Guess what? I'm selfish. I complain a lot when things don't go my way (cough on the trip to San Antonio, Damaris). I let people walk all over me and then blame them, even though it was my fault. I resent people when they demand too much of me, but I'm the one who never had the guts to say "no" in the first place. I'm the one who sometimes looses sight of what it looks like to live for ONE instead of many people. How dare I blame those people when I'm the one who sometimes starts to live for their approval instead of my Creator who loves me more than words can express?

Today I wanted to get away from these people who expect too much of me, so I went to Panera and sat, sipping on my delicious hazlenut coffee, tossing the phone to the side so that noone could ask me to do this, demand me to do that, etc...

So, I opened up and started diving into the Word. I have read through the Gospels before, but Father showed me something today that I had never really noticed before, perhaps out of selfishness.

John is baptizing people and teaching the people around him, when in Mark 1:7, he says, " After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie."

Think about it. Even though peoples' feet were SO stinkin dirty in those days, John says that he is not even worthy to untie Christ's sandals. And really, who is? Yet later on, you see Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, even ones who would go on to betray Him. How beautiful is that?

I haven't stopped thinking about this verse since then. Why should I be so selfish and complain about the messes I get my very own self into? Because isn't it all for His glory anyways? And how unworthy I am to even have the chance to serve Him in any capacity at all!

In spite of my wicked selfishness, my own pursuits, my attempts to do things on my own, He still pursues me. Out of everyone roaming around on planet Earth, He chooses to know ME inside and out, as well as give me a chance to know Him? What a beautiful Jesus we serve!

1 comment:

My name is Damaris said...

I wrote this in July. Funny how our minds work so alike even at different times in different places.

"John the Baptist knew the holiness of Jesus. He describes Jesus as one which 'the strap of whose sandal I am not worthy to untie.' That is such a humbling action - I am imagining servants of a king removing the king's shoes, so for John to say that Jesus is MUCH higher than a king and John MUCH lower than a servant - isn't it amazing how later Jesus washes the feet of His disciples! How we humbles Himself.